Got An "A" in science

In the fall of 2014 I took my first science class. Never paid attention to science before.
(I hated the subject just like I hate math. So I did not pay attention). Anyway, since I am paying gut of pocket for school now I decided to focus. Plus I am just tired of being a dumbass. After I signed up for my first science class. Someone told me it would be really difficult. I already came down this path of it's too difficult. You can't do it. Except this time the person was an outside voice. Not my internal self (that's the best I can explain that, lol).

I rebuked what they said. I chose to take my science class and got my first  "A" in a class I would consider difficult. That's when I realized my problem all along was not that I was not getting the class. It was my own self doubt coupled in with some laziness.

Yeay to the world of lazy. I would spend hours watching television instead of applying myself in school. Now I am stuck in a job. If I had focused maybe I would have had the career of my dreams. Then again God works in strange ways. I can only think I am where I need to be. Though one day I want my dreams to come through.

I sit here in front of the computer screen and I realize i haven't written anything in so long. I wonder now if i can still write. Create a movement of emotion in someone's chest. Bring the soul to joy or anger. Maybe even scare.

Let me see,

His eyes...yes I have lost some of it. I guess I am out of practice from lacking practice lol. It may take some time but i will write again. I will find the words I lost. I know so! They are someone deep inside my mind, body and spirit.

Well reader now I am off to bed. I have to get up early in the morning. I am taking a science class. I plan to expand my mind. I need to. For a period last year I felt like my brain was rotting. I could feel the neurons dying. Allowing the loss of precious connections memories and sensible thought. So I am taking challenging courses. My plan is to end with a career as a nurse practitioner.

I am excited! Enthusiastic! Elated! Now I truly am in a new frontier.

Now only am I in school. Now I have buying power because I am employed. I plan to travel a little more soon. Yeah!

My eyes are slowly closing as I write. I must leave now to go to sleep.

Good night Blog :)

I am looking for a fresh start

I haven't posted anything in a long time. I just got really busy with a lot of stuff that is going on in my life. I am back for good though now. I have a new firmness in my faith in God. And yes I finally found employment and am going back to school. YEAY!

Anyway, I have so much to share about the past year. Once I get my thoughts straight put it all out there.

:)

I am back today....

Okay, so today was a slow day. Pretty much because the electricity went, so I was unable to write this morning. (Mom says when she wins the lotto we will put in the solar panels.) Well, I know I can write with pen and paper, but I like to write mainly with the laptop.

It's pitiful, but it makes me feel like one of those professional writers I sometimes see in movies. I feel edgy and cool. Though I am in reality awkward and goooooooooofy.

I worked hard not worrying about stuff I could not control. I admit it was not that difficult. I've been feeling like I am floating all day. I guess that's the work of God or maybe the work of my allergy pills. Whichever one of them is doing this...thank you. I needed that. The less I can focus. The more I won't bang my head i a state of batshit craziness.

Though I admit. Yesterday I was on the verge of jumping out of my head. If I can actually do that. But, let's just leave that alone. Let's just focus on my not worrying.

As I surf the jcpenney website. I know people say-: that's the place even great grandma's are embarrassed to shop. I don't care. I love dressing like a grandma. Make me look like a flapper from the twenties please.

In all seriousness, jcpenney has some nice clothes. I love their sundresses for work. I buy them for my non-existent job. YEAY!  I think, "OOOH, i should buy this dress. I can wear it to work."

Hahhha, it's enough to send me mad. No wonder sometimes  i even consider putting myself in a straight jacket. GET ME BEFORE I BREAK OUT!

Anyway, I am patroling jcpenney right now. My mouth is watering. They had some nice jeggings the last time I was on. Maybe I will see them again.

(As for my lotto dreams. If i win I am finding myself to the nearest beautiful beach-no place near here- laying out on the sand. Decked out of course in every piece of clothing i like from jcpenney. That's unless I win publishers clearing house. Side note-: I plan to do the same freaking thing! I need a permanent vacation God.)

I Started a New Book

Yesterday, after posting my last blog.I deleted my posts. I needed to let go of my past. I needed to delete those posts. Don't know why, but I JUST COULD NOT GO BACK TO THAT PLACE.

Well, I started a new book. It is a novella. I am trying to write something from my heart. Something that I and others can relate to. I am working on putting a lot of myself into my novel.

For example, the first character. The main character's mother. I have put a lot of traits that I have within her. The novella is not a science fiction novel, but it does contain spirituality.

I am not sure when this novel will finish, but i am excited. Every time I open the file, I feel as though this is a new beginning.

Well, I am going back to write more. Maybe this novel is practice for me to eventually write something really good. A novel that an agent will actually represent. A novel that a publisher will publish. A NOVEL THAT WILL BE A BEST SELLER.

Still working on not blaming God for my problems. It is difficult not to be thankful for what i have, because I am busy focusing on what i don't. I am trying. I really am. I would like to get to heaven someday. If everything else fails. My writing career, my life, at least I can look forward to heaven.

I am not getting married for certain. So, let's hope my writing career works out. I need money to support myself and this world is not free. And no, I am not being selfish God. I just want enough money to retire on. (If my writing career works out I will have enough money to get my hair down every month. And, i would not have to walk around looking like Medusa's twin sister.)

Alright, I am not going to bore anyone with my words.

Soon, I will post clips of my novella. When I get the rights most likely. Though, I doubt my work is such quality that anyone would want to steal. I am after all a complete work in progress. Down to my sowing.

Yea, I started sowing. It's bad. So bad, what I sow looks good. No. Its looks like chicken scratch. If something can look like chicken scratch. At least it's not ratchety (don't think that's a word). So, I am guessing that's a start.

Though there are times I enjoy....look I am babbling on. 'Cept I can, cause no one's listening.